Tujifunze Kushukuru

Victoria Nakajumo - Wisdom&Wellness Counselor (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Victoria Nakajumo (Wisdom&Wellness Counselor – TEWWY).

Neno asante linaonekana ni la kawaida sana. Lakini ndani yake lina umuhimu mkubwa mno. Chochote unachopokea au kupata ni vema kusema asante. Wengi wetu tumezoea kushukuru au kusema asante kwa kitu ambacho ni kikubwa au kizuri. Pia wengine wana tabia ya kusema asante kwa kuchagua watu fulani fulani.

Ninachotaka kusema hapa ni kwamba tuwe na tabia ya kushukuru au kusema asante kwa watu wote, wawe wadogo ama wakubwa, watu wenye hali nzuri ama wenye hali mbaya, wawe maskini au matajiri nk. Kama umepewa zawadi, uwe umeipenda ama la, yakupasa useme asante. Mara nyingi mtu anaposhukushukuru anafunguliwa milango ya neema ya kuendelea kupokea zaidi na zaidi.

Tujifunze kushukuru, hata kama uliomba ukakosa sema asante maana kwa kufanya hivyo huwezi jua kuwa siku nyingine ukibahatika kukutana nae huyo ambaye hakuweza kukupa ulipomuomba anaweza akakupa kitu kizuri na kikubwa hata bila kuomba. Cha msingi, tuwe na mazoea ya kusema asante au kushukuru kwa kila jambo.

Yatupasa pia kumshukuru Mungu kwa mema yote anayotutendea. Unavyozidi kushukuru ndivyo utakavyopokea zaidi na zaidi.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Art #Culture #Tanzania

Dalili Ya Mvua Ni Mawingu

Tap Elderly Women's Wisdom for Youth (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Tap Elderly Women’s Wisdom for Youth (TEWWY).

Dalili ni alama zinazotambulisha kitu fulani kwamba kimekuja, kinakuja au kitakuja. Dalili zipo za aina mbalimbali, kama vile dalili za magonjwa, mvua, ukame, ugomvi nk. Msemo huu unatukumbusha umuhimu wa kusoma alama za nyakati. Kusoma alama za nyakati haina maana ya kuziangalia saa zetu za mikononi au za kwenye simu zetu. Ni kuangalia matendo yetu ya sasa na hivyo basi umuhimu wa kuzisoma dalili za mambo yatakayotokea.

Mathalani, tuangalie hali ya mahusiano yaliyopo baina ya watu hapa nchini siku hizi. Upendo baina ya watu na watu umetoweka. Wahenga wanasema zamani mtoto alikuwa ni mtoto wa kila mtu, lilikuwa ni jukumu la jamii kumfundisha na kumkanya wakati wowote ilipobidi. Endapo mtoto ama kijana au mtu yeyote ndani ya jamii alipata shida ama tatizo aliweza kukimbilia kwa mwana jamii na kumweleza yaliyokuwa yanamsibu. Ile kupata fursa kuongea ya moyoni kulisaidia sana kupunguza msongo wa mawazo ambao ungeweza kuwa ni changamoto kubwa hapo mbeleni.

Lakini kadiri miaka ilivyokuwa inaenda hali hii ya umoja ilianza kupungua. Hali hii ilipoanza kujitokeza jamii ilikaa kimya tu na kuanza kuizoea hali hiyo. Mtoto alianza kuwa ni wa familia tu na siyo wa jamii tena. Kila mtu alianza kuangalia ustaarabu wake. Hata mtu akipata tatizo inambidi afe nalo, anakuwa hana mahali pa kukimbilia.

Upendo kuanza kutoweka katika jamii ilikuwa inaashiria kitu fulani. Pamoja na kwamba hali hiyo tuliiona, hatukuchukua tahadhari, hatukulishughulikia tatizo hilo, tulikaa kimya.

Dalili mbaya zilianza kuonekana, waliozidiwa na msongo wa mawazo wakaanza kukata tamaa na maisha. Wakaona hakuna sababu ya kuendelea kuishi, uamuzi ukawa ni kuondoa uhai wao. Vito vitokanavyo na watu kujiua vikaanza kujitokeza, mwezi baada ya mwezi, wiki baada ya wiki na leo hii imekuwa siku baada ya siku.

Nini tunajifunza kutokana na maelezo haya?

  1. Dalili za jamii kuanza kumeguka zilianza kuonekana muda mrefu tu, hatukufanya chochote. Sasa tunajikuta pabaya.
  2. Thamani ya wahenga kwenye jamii itambuliwe ili kupunguza Vito vitokanavyo na watu kujiua ama kuua
  3. Jamii iwe na utayari wa kushughulikia dalili ambazo endapo zitaachwa bila kudhibitiwa zinaweza kuleta madhara makubwa.

Ikumbukwe kuwa dalili ya mvua ni mawingu. Yatupasa kujitahidi kuzidhibiti dalili mbaya pale zinapoanza kujitokeza ili kukwepa maafa huko mbele.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Arts #Culture #Tanzania

Usikae Mahali Ambapo Hakuna Anayeona Thamani Yako

Tap Elderly Women's Wisdom for Youth (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Tap Elderly Women’s Wisdom for Youth (TEWWY).

Baba mmoja alimwambia binti yake, “Umefuzu na kupata shahada yako yenye ufaulu wa hali ya juu (honors). Unaiona hii gari niliyokuwa nimekununulia miaka mingi iliyopita. Inaonekana imezeeka kidogo kwa sasa. Lakini kabla sijakupatia, ichukue uipeleke mjini kwenye maduka ya magari yaliyotumika. Waulize kiasi gani wanaweza kukupa kwa gari hiyo.

Binti alifanya kama alivyoelekezwa, Alikwenda kwenye sehemu hiyo ya magari ya mitumba. Baada ya kuuliza bei alirudi kwa baba yake na kumwambia, “ Wamesema watatoa kiasi cha dola za kimarekani 1,000 ($1,000) kwa sababu gari inaonekana kuwa imechakaa sana.”

Kisha baba yake alisema, “Sasa chukua gari hii ipeleke kwenye duka la kukopesha kwa kutumia dhamana.” Binti aliondoka kuelekea huko dukani, aliporudi alimwambia babake kuwa, “Wenye duka hilo wanasema watatoa dola za kimarekani 100 ($100) kwa sababu gari imezeeka.”

Hatimaye baba alimwambia mtoto wake aende kwenye klabu ya magari ili akawaonyeshe gari hilo. Binti alilipeleka gari hilo kwenye klabu ya magari, aliporudi alimwambia babake kuwa, ”Watu wengine kwenye klabu wako tayari kutoa $100,000 kwa sababu ni gari aina ya Holden Torana ambayo ni maarufu sana na inatafutwa na watu wengi ambao hukusanya magari maarufu ya zamani.”

Sasa baba yake alimwambia mtoto wake “Mahali sahihi patakupatia hadhi unayostahili kwa njia iliyo sahihi”. Kama hauthaminiwi, usikasirike, ina maana hauko mahali sahihi. Wale wanaoijua thamani yako ni wale wanaokutambua na kujua umuhimu wako.

Kamwe usikae mahali ambapo hakuna anayetambua ama kuona thamani yako.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Arts #Culture #Tanzania

Hadithi Ya Mfalme Na Mvuvi

Tap Elderly Women's Wisdom for Youth (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Tap Elderly Women’s Wisdom for Youth (TEWWY).

Siku moja Mfalme alipata hamu ya kula samaki. Aliamua kutembelea ufukweni. Kwa bahati mbaya, siku hiyo samaki hawakupatikana na hivyo wavuvi wote walikosa.

Wakati anarudi kutoka ufukweni alikutana na mvuvi mmoja tu aliyekuwa amebahatika kupata samaki watatu (3) tu. Kwa furaha, Mfalme alitaka kuwanunua samaki hao. Cha kushangaza, mvuvi alikataa kuwauza samaki wake.

Mfalme akaomba auziwe japo mmoja tu ili kukidhi hamu yake kubwa aliyokuwa nayo ya kula samaki. Mvuvi kwa ujasiri mkubwa akamwambia Mfalme: “huyu samaki mmoja naenda kumkopesha, sijui kama nitalipwa.
Na huyu mwingine naenda kulipa deni, sijui kama nitalimaliza. Na huyu wa tatu naenda kumtupa.”

Mfalme alichukizwa na majibu yale. Aliwaamuru wafuasi wake wamnyang’anye wale samaki halafu na mvuvi nae atupwe gerezani.

Baada ya muda kupita, Mfalme aliamuru yule mvuvi aletwe mbele yake ili amuhoji kwa nini alikataa kumuuzia samaki kwani sababu zilizotolewa na mvuvi hazikumridhisha kabisa mfalme. Mfalme akarudia maneno ya yule mvuvi, eti unasema samaki moja unaenda kumkopesha mtu ambaye hata hujui kama atakulipa. Na samaki wa pili naye umesema unaenda kulipa deni na hujui kama utalimaliza kulilipa. Na samaki mwingine wa tatu naye, eti unaenda kumtupa. Nimekuambia kuwa mimi nina hamu ya kula samaki, akamuuliza, “je, hizo sababu zako kweli unaziona kuwa ni za busara kumjibu mfalme?

Mvuvi akamjibu Mfalme bila woga,
“Huyu niliyesema ninakwenda kukopesha na sijui kama nitalipwa, naenda kuwapa wanangu. Sote tunajua kuwa pamoja na kwamba kuwahudumia watoto ni jukumu letu, hakuna mzazi anayejua kama hao watoto nao watakuja kumhudumia siku za uzee wake, wakati utakapokuwa huna nguvu”.

Mvuvi aliendelea kutoa maelezo ya maswali yaliyoulizwa na mfalme, “Huyu samaki wa pili nae nakwenda kulipa deni sijui kama nitalimaliza. Nawapelekea wazazi wangu. Kutokana na yote waliyonitendea, najua siwezi kuwalipa hata niwape nini. Deni langu kwao ni kubwa sana na halitoisha milele”.

Mvuvi alimalizia kujibu hoja ya tatu ya mfalme kwa kusema, “Na huyu wa tatu ninayeenda kumtupa, naenda kumpa mke wangu. Mara nyingi wake zetu walio wengi huwa hawajui kushukuru na wala huwa hawatosheki. Wake wengine hata uwape nini, siku wakicharuka tu wanaweza kusema hujafanya chochote tokea muoane”. Mfalme alisikiliza maneno hayo kwa makini na alighairi hata kumpa adhabu aliyokuwa amepania kumpa. Inaonekana aliuona ukweli wa maelezo ya mvuvi huyu.

Tunajifunza nini kutoka hoja hizo tatu zilizotolewa?

  1. Ni jukumu la wazazi kuwatunza watoto wao, huo ni wajibu. Lakini pia ni tegemeo la kawaida kutoka kwa wazazi kuwa wanawekeza kwa watoto wao ili nao wanapokuja kuishiwa nguvu, watoto wao nao waje watimize wajibu wao wa kuwasaidia. Ukweli ni kwamba mara nyingi hii haifanyiki na baadhi ya watoto kwa wazazi kwa visngizio mbali mbali kama vile maisha magumu nk.
  2. Hakuna gharama inayoweza kurudishwa na mtoto kwa wazazi ikawa sawa na huduma alizozipata kutoka kwa wazazi wake tokea akiwa mtoto. Deni hili ni kweli halilipiki kabisa. Yatupasa kila mtu ajiulize swali hili, “Je bila wazazi kukufanyia yote waliyokufanyia, ungekuwa wapi leo?”. Lakini pia hili ni swali linawahusu wazazi waliowahangaikia watoto wao hadi wakawa hivyo walivyo. Kuna baadhi ya wazazi ambao huwa hawatekelezi majukumu yao kama wazazi na hivyo ulipaji wa deni hapa unategemea na vigezo vingi, kimojawapo kikubwa hicho cha kutimiza wajibu kama wazazi.
  3. Hili la tatu naliona kama ni la mfumo dume kidogo. Kwa dunia ya leo si kwamba mwanamke anafanyiwa tu. Kwa kiasi kikubwa dunia ya sasa baba na mama wote wanahangaika kutafuta kwa ajili ya familia. Hivyo naona si sahihi kutoa shutuma tu kwa wanawake. Penye upendo, heshima na maelewano hayo ya kusema samaki wa tatu mvuvi anakwenda kumtupa haina ukweli kabisa bali anapeleka nyumbani kwa matumizi ya familia kama ilivyo ada ya mzazi yeyote.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Arts #Culture #Tanzania

Hivi Ulivyo Ni Matokeo Ya Uliyojinenea

Alfreda George - Wisdom&Wellness Counselor (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Alfreda George (Wisdom&Wellness Counselor – TEWWY).

Mara nyingi tunasikia watu wakisema ‘kinywa kinaumba’. Wengi hupenda kuamini kuwa maisha ya mtu yanatengenezwa na vile mtu anavyojipangia na anavyojinenea mwenyewe. Hii ina maana kuwa binadamu ana mamlaka ya kupanga/kuamua maisha yake yaweje. Lakini haina maana kuwa yale mazuri uliyojinenea yatatokea bila kuweka jitihada zozote, la hasha. Mfano ukijinenea kwa kusema kuwa mimi nitakuwa tajiri”, itakupasa utende matendo yatakayokufanya ufikie hayo uliyonena, kama kufanya kazi kwa bidii nk. Hivyo hivyo, ukijinenea kuwa utakuwa daktari, itakupasa ukazane kusoma kwa bidii, hususani masomo yatakayokuwezesha kufikia ndoto hiyo ya kuwa daktari. Hakuna mafanikio yatakayodondoka kutoka juu, hiyo itakuwa ndoto ya mchana

Hata kwenye malezi ya watoto wetu ni muhimu sana kuangalia maneno tunayowanenea watoto wetu kwani mara nyingi watoto huja kuwa hivyo walivyonenewa ama walivyotabiriwa na wazazi wao. Mathalani, unaweza kumwambia mtoto wako maneno kama: “wewe mtoto hutafanikiwa katika maisha yako”. Pengine unaposema haya unakuwa kama unatania. Lakini kumbe maneno haya yanakuja kumfanya mtoto awe vile ulivyomtamkia. Hii ni kutokana na jinsi ulivyokuwa unamtamkia katika malezi yake. Hali kadhalika pale unapomwambia mtoto wewe ni mjinga basi mtoto atakuwa hivyo. Kwa maana kimtokacho mtu ndicho kiumbikacho katika maisha ya mwanadamu ya kila siku.

Kwa ujumla usijinenee mambo hasi wewe mwenyewe, uzao wako na hata watu wengine. Usifikirie au kuzungumzia kushindwa daima bali ongelea masuala ya ushindi. Ni lazima kujiamini.

Mathalani, shirika la TEWWY linaweza likawa linapitia magumu mengi na hivyo kushindwa kutekeleza majukumu yake. Pamoja na magumu yote linayoyapitia, yatupasa tuseme TEWWY itashinda kwa maana tumedhamiria kufanya hivyo. Ruhusu mdomo wako uongelee mambo yaliyo chanya na sio hasi. Mambo huwa vile mlivyojinenea, kama mmeomba na kutamka ushindi, basi mtashinda, na kama mmetamka kushindwa, basi mtashindwa. Hata wewe hivyo ulivyo ni matokeo ya yale uliyojinenea wewe mwenyewe.

Mara nyingi mambo mengi yanayotupata ni matokeo ya yale tuliyojinenea ama kujitamkia. Hata watoto wetu wanakuwa vile walivyo kutokana na jinsi tulivyokuwa tunawatamkia katika malezi yao. Pale unapomwambia mtoto wewe ni mjinga basi atakuwa hivyo. Kwa maana kimtokacho mtu ndicho kiumbikacho katika maisha ya kila siku.

Kwa ujumla usijinenee mambo hasi wewe mwenyewe na hata uzao wako. Usikiri kushindwa, daima ongelea kushinda. Mathalani, TEWWY inasema lazima tutashinda kwa sababu tumedhamiria kushinda. Acha mdomo uongelee mambo chanya na sio mambo hasi asilani.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Art #Culture #Tanzania

Uaminifu Katika Ndoa

Alfreda George - Wisdom&Wellness Counselor (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Alfreda George (Wisdom&Wellness Counselor – TEWWY).

Palitokea binti mmoja alichumbiwa na kijana mwenzie. Kwa bahati mbaya, uchumba wao haukudumu, wakaachana. Haikuchukua muda binti akapata mchumba mwingine aliyetokea mbali na mjini na hatimaye aliolewa naye. Mungu si Athuman, kijana mchumba wa kwanza wa binti naye alipata mchumba, akaoa. Mambo yakawa mazuri pande zote mbili.

Binti alipoolewa aliishi hapo hapo mjini ambako wazazi wake walikuwa wakiishi. Familia aliyoolewa huyu binti huyu ilikuwa ni familia nzuri na yenye uwezo. Wakwe zake walikuwa wanampenda sana.

Maisha ya binti yalikuwa ni mazuri mno. Alikuwa anapata fursa ya kuwatembelea wazazi wake mara kwa mara. Wakati alipokuwa akija kuwatembelea wazazi wake alikuwa anakutana kwa siri na yule kaka ambaye alikuwa mchumba wake wa mwanzo ambaye waliachana. Kwa kifupi, alikuwa anaendelea naye kimahusiano. Kutokana na mahusiano hayo ya siri na yule kijana,safari za kwenda kwa wazazi wake ziliongezeka kwani alikuwa anakwenda karibu kila siku. Akiomba ruhusa kwa mumewe ya siku tatu kwenda kuwaona wazazi wake basi atakaa siku mbili tu na siku ya tatu atakwenda kulala kwa yule mchumba wa zamani.

Siku moja aliomba ruhusa ya kwenda kwa wazazi wake lakini hakufika huko. Aliamua kupitia kwa huyo bwana kwanza kabla ya kwenda kwa wazazi. Kama waswahili wasemavyo: “siku za mwizi ni arobaini”. Ya arobaini ilimfika binti huyu. Kwa bahati mbaya binti alikutwa na umauti kwa huyo kijana. Kwa sababu kijana hakuwa akiishi mbali na kwa wazazi wa binti, majirani walienda kuwataarifu wazazi wake. Kwa mshituko mkubwa, wazazi walilazimika kufika kwenye eneo la tukio. Ilikuwa ni aibu tupu pale mtaani, kila mtu alipigwa na butwaa. Badala ya kuwa msiba wa heshima uligeuka kuwa msiba wa minong’ono, kila mtu akiwa na hadithi yake ya kusimulia, kila mtu akiongeza chumvi anayotaka ili mradi simulizi ipendeze kwenye masikio ya watu. Ilikuwa ni hali ya kutatanisha umma wa pale mjini.

Tunajifunza mengi kwenye mkasa huu.

  1. Hakuna siri duniani, hata ufanye mambo yako chini ya bahari yatakuja kujulikana tu siku moja. Yule binti alijiona kuwa mjanja na mwenye akili lakini yaliyompata baadaye ni ishara mbaya ya udanganyifu. Alifia kwa bwana ambaye si mume wake. Kifo kilimuumbua, kikatoa siri. Kifo chake pia kiliwatia aibu wazazi wake maskini ambao walikuwa hawajui mambo yaliyokuwa yakiendelea na binti yao.
  2. Tunajifunza umuhimu wa wazazi kuwafundisha watoto wao somo la uaminifu tokea watoto wangali wadogo. Misingi ya iaminifu inatakiwa kupandwa mapema kabisa kwa watoto wetu. Uaminifu kwa kila kitu, uaminifu wa kila mahali. Yawapasa watoto waogope kudanganya tokea wakiwa wadogo hadi ukubwani, hii ni pamoja na kuwa wakweli kwa wenzi wao.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Art #Culture #Tanzania

Usiruhusu Hisia Zitawale Maisha Yako

Alfreda George - Wisdom&Wellness Counselor (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Alfreda George (Wisdom&Wellness Counselor – TEWWY).

Palikuwa na kaka mmoja ambaye alikuwa na mke wake. Bahati nzuri alikuwa ni mtu wa kusafiri sana na hivyo kuongeza kupata cha familia yake. Lakini bwana huyu alikuwa na tatizo moja kubwa. Kila atokapo safarini, akiwa matembezini na mke wake, endapo ikatokea mke wake akasalimiana na mwanamume yeyote, hisia zake zilikuwa zinampeleka kwenye mambo ya ajabu. Wakifika nyumbani hutokea vurugu kubwa, vurugu lisolozuilika.

Hali hii ya kushutumiwa ilifikia pabaya na mke wake alishindwa kuendelea kuvumilia, hivyo waliachana. Aliondoka hapo nyumbani kwa mume wake na kwenda kuishi sehemu nyingine. Ikatokea siku moja mume wake akapatwa na homa kali sana, homa iliyokuwa inahitaji uangalizi wa karibu wa mke ama wa ndugu wa karibu sana.

Kwa bahati mbaya hakuna mtu aliyekwenda kumuangalia, si ndugu wala jirani aliyesogea hapo kwa muda wote aliokuwa akiugua. Alipoona hali iko hivyo, bwana huyu alijikuta hana ujanja tena zaidi ya kulazimika kutuma watu kwenda kwa mke wake kumuombea msamaha, kumtaka radhi ili arudi kwa mume wake.

Pamoja na kwamba ndugu hao walikuwa wamemuomba hapo awali asimuache mke wake kwa hisia na hakuwasikiliza bado walikuwa tayari kumsaidia kwa kwenda kumuombea msamaha kwa mke wake. Kwa moyo mkuu uliojaa upendo na huruma, mke aliridhia maombi yao ya kumsamehe ndugu yao. Alikubali kurudi kwa mume wake kwa lengo la kumuuguza hadi kifo kije kiwatenganishe. Hatimaye mume wake aliaga dunia akiwa chini ya uangalizi na huduma nzuri ya mke wake.

Mke alibakia kwenye nyumba ile waliyokuwa wakiishi yeye na mume wake. Ilikuwa ni mali yao wote wawili, nyumba ya ndoa yao na hivyo ndugu waliridhia aendelee kubakia pale pamoja na watoto wao.

Kisa hiki kinatufundisha kutokuziamini hisia zetu bali tuenende na yale tunayoyajua na kuwa na uhakika nayo. Hisia zinapoteza, hisia zinadanganya, hakuna binadamu mwenye uhakika na hisia zake. Tuishi na ukweli, siyo hisia.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Art #Culture #Tanzania

Wazazi Tuache Udhalilishaji Wa Kingono Kwa Watoto

Grace Mshanga - Wisdom&Wellness Counselor (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Grace Mshanga (Wisdom&Wellness Counselor – TEWWY).

Kuna baba mmoja tajiri aliyebarikiwa na Mungu katika ndoa yake kupata watoto saba (7), kati yao watano (5) walikuwa wa kike. Binti hawa kwa kweli walikuwa wazuri wa sura na maumbo pia na jinsi walivyozidi kukua ndivyo walivyozidi kubarikiwa kuwa visura na warembo zaidi kila uchao. Kila mvulana aliyewaona alivutiwa nao na kujaribu kutupa ndoano yake ili kuwanasa.

Baba yao watoto hawa, sijui alishikwa na ibilisi gani, alianza kuwatamani watoto wake na kuwarubuni kimapenzi. Alianza na binti mkubwa hadi akamfikia mdogo. Alitekeleza unyama huo kwa nyakati tofauti. Mambo haya yaliendelea kwa muda mrefu na kwa siri sana bila mama yao kujua. Maskini mama wa watu kile alichojua na kufurahia ni kuwa watoto wake walikuwa wanapendwa sana na baba yao, kitu ambacho ni cha kawaida kwa wazazi kuwapenda watoto wao.

Kama ilivyo ada, mabinti wakubwa wanne waliposwa na kulipiwa mahari kama ilivyo desturi ya kabila lao. Waliolewa na kwenda kuishi na waume zao kwenye makao yao mapya.

Alibakia binti mmoja tu pale nyumbani. Cha kushangaza, furaha ya mume tajiri wa yule mama na baba wa wale watoto ilionekana kuanza kupungua kwa kasi sana. Bila kujua undani na unyama wa yule baba, mke wake alifikiri kuwa pengine kukosa raha huko kwa mumewe kunatokana na binti zake kuolewa mfululizo na hivyo kuacha pengo kubwa hapo nyumbani. Kwa hakika jambo usilolijua ni kama usiku wa giza 😱.

Muda ulivyozidi kwenda vijana wakawa wanaitembelea nyumba ya tajiri huyo kwa lengo la kumchumbia yule binti aliyebakia pale nyumbani. Ikawa kila wakitoa kifunga uchumba kwa wazazi wa binti yule baada ya muda uchumba ulivunjika. Hali hii ilijirudia mfululizo huo kwa wavulana kama sita. Hali hii ilimshitua mama na hivyo ikabidi amwulize rafiki yake wa karibu ili aweze kumfumbulia kitendawili hiki na kuweza kujua kulikoni haya yanatokea kwa binti yake. Hali kadhalika, mama wa binti huyu alikuwa tayari amekwishamhoji binti yake bila kupata majibu kwani binti hakutaka kusema lolote.

Rafiki yake ilibidi amuandae vizuri kisaikolojia na baada ya hapo alimtobolea siri moja kubwa ambayo ilikuwa imejificha sana kwa maskini mama huyu, mke wa tajiri.

Baada ya kuteguliwa ama kufumbuliwa kitendawili ama siri hiyo kubwa, mama wa mtoto ambaye posa zake zilikuwa zinarudishwa alichukua hatua sitahiki. Aliongea na binti yake kwa huzuni sana kuhusu mambo aliyoyasikia. Mume wake pia alivyorudi, aliongea naye kwa masikitiko makubwa kuhusu yale aliyokuwa ameyasikia.

Kwa vile hayo mambo yalikuwa ni mazito na magumu kuyavumilia, mama huyo alifungasha virago vyake na kuondoka pale nyumbani. Binti alipoona mambo yamekuwa mazito na mama yake ameamua kuondoka, aliamua kwenda kwa mama yake mdogo ili akamuombe aingilie kati kwa kumuombea msamaha kwa mama yake mzazi kwa suala hilo zito.

Mama yake mdogo hakusita kumwambia kwa ukali na kwa kulaani matendo aliyoyafanya yeye binti na babake. Alimkemea vikali binti huyo kwa matendo yake ya kishetani, matendo yasiyo ya kiungwana hata kidogo. Pamoja na kwamba hakumfukuza pale nyumbani kwake alimkanya asilani asije kuanza kutembea na baba yake mdogo. Alimwambia: Nakuruhusu ukae hapa kwangu ukiwa kama mtoto wa dadangu, lakini ole wako uje utembee na babako mdogo ambaye ni mume wangu. Endapo utakuja kufanya hivyo, kama ulivyomfanyia mamako, adhabu yangu kwako itakuwa ni kubwa kupindukia, cha moto utakiona,” alimaliza. Huyu binti alikubali kukaa hapo kwa masharti hayo na kwa hakika alianza kubadilika na kujutia makosa yake.

Kwa bahati mbaya kwa upande wa binti, mama yale yule, mke wa tajiri hakukubali kurudi asilani na kukajengeka ukuta mkubwa sana kati yake na watoto wake pamoja na mume wake. Aliapa kabisa kutorudi kabisa nyumbani kwa mume wake na pia kutokuwa na ushirikiano nao wote waliomtenda hayo.

Tunajifunza mengi kutoka kisa mkasa huu, yafuatayo ni baadhi tu:

  1. Kusambaratika kwa familia hii kulisababishwa na baba mwenye nyumba kutoheshimu misingi ya maisha. Yatupasa kuheshimu mipaka ya mahusiano ya kimapenzi iliyowekwa tokea uumbaji wa wanadamu na kushushwa kwa mababu na mababu zetu.
  2. Heshima ya binadamu hujengwa na kubomolewa na binadamu mwenyewe. Huyu tajiri alipoteza heshima yake kwa mkewe na kwa jamii nzima. Vitendo vyake vya ‘kula kuku na mayai’ havikubaliki katika jamii yoyote hapa duniani. Matendo ya ‘kutembea’ na binti zake ni ya KINYAMA na lazima tuyakemee kwa nguvu zote. Ni unyanyasaji wa kijinsia, ni ushetani uliokithiri na pia ni uvunjifu wa amani. Aliyotenda tajiri huyu siyo matendo ya kawaida, hususan, kama baba wa familia.
  3. Unyama alilowafanyia binti zake umewaathiri mabinti kisaikolojia. Pamoja na kwamba mabinti hawa wameolewa, unyama huo hautafutika mioyoni mwao. Utabaki kuwa ‘donda ndugu’, hata kama wameolewa halitafutika mioyoni mwao. Wameathiriwa kisaikolojia na baba yao mzazi.

Tabia hii ni mbaya sana, sisi wazazi tunajipatia laana toka kwa Muumba wetu. Badala ya wazazi kuwa walinzi wa haki za watoto wetu tunageuka kuwa vinara

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Arts #Culture #Tanzania

Kheri Kukubalika Kuliko Kupendwa Na Jamii

Alfreda George - Wisdom&Wellness Counselor (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Alfreda George (Wisdom&Wellness Counselor – TEWWY).

Katika maisha omba kukubalika kutoka makundi mbalimbali na sio kupendwa peke yake. Mara nyingi, kupendwa peke yake kutakupelekea kuwa na kiburi. Mtu akijiona kuwa anapendwa sana anaweza akajisahau na akafanya mambo ambayo si sahihi. Na kwa vile anajua kuwa anapendwa, chochote asemacho ama afanyacho huona kuwa ni sahihi. Jeuri hiyo inaweza ikamfanya asisikilize wasemayo wengine. Kitakachotokea zaidi ni kujihesabia haki na kuwa na majigambo mengi yasiyo na msingi.

Unapokuwa na kibali kutoka kwa jamii unaweza ukafika wakati ambapo watu watakuwa huru kuja kukupa ushauri ama kuomba ushauri kutoka kwako. Unapofikia hatua hii itaonyesha kuwa unakubalika na jamii yako na kwamba unafahamika hata na watu ambao huwajui. Sifa za matendo yako zitatapakaa kila kona na hivyo kila mtu ndani na nje ya jamii yako kukuona wewe kama kisima cha busara za kuja kuchotwa wakati wote.

Kukubalika na jamii ndicho kitu cha msingi katika maisha ya mwanadamu. Yatupasa tufanye matendo yatakayotufanya tukubalike kwenye jamii katika maisha yetu. Omba ukublike katika maisha yako.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Art #Culture #Tanzania

Kizuri Hakikosi Kasoro

Margaret Kayombo - Wisdom&Wellness Counselor (TEWWY)

Masimulizi …

by Margaret Kayombo (Wisdom&Wellness Counselor – TEWWY).

Ni kawaida sana kusikia msemo huu kwani ni ukweli usiopingika kuwa hakuna kitu kinachokosa dosari, hata kiwe kizuri namna gani. Ni hali halisi ya mambo yalivyo hapa duniani. Tunapata shida sana ya kugundua hilo kwenye maisha yetu ya kila siku. Unaweza kumwona mtu mpole kama malaika, lakini akawa na vitendo vinavyotisha kama moto wa kifuu. Haya mambo yapo tofauti tofauti kwa watu hapa duniani, hayalingani, huyu ana udhaifu huu na huyu ana udhaifu ule kwa hiyo tujue kuwa hakuna binadamu aliyekamilika ila tu viwango vya madhaifu vinatofautiana. Kuna mambo mengine yanapitiliza mpaka wengine kwenye jamii wanashindwa kustahimili.

Kwenye ukasoro katika maisha ya kawaida au kwa wanandoa ni kipimo tosha cha uvumilivu na upendo kwahiyo tuishi tukijua kuwa kila mtu ana kasoro zake lakini hizo kasoro zinaweza kurekebishwa ukijitambua kuwa unachokifanya kinawakwaza wengine. Hayo utayatambua kwa muonekano wako kwa wengine, unapata majibu gani kutoka kwa wanaokuzunguka kama ni chanya au hasi. Inapendeza kama kila mtu akichukua muda na kujipima nafsi yake kwa kuangalia na kujiuliza anaishije na jirani yake. Jirani yako ni nani? Jirani yako anaweza kuwa mtoto wako, mke wako, mume wako au adui yako.

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Art #Culture #Tanzania

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