Wazazi Tuache Udhalilishaji Wa Kingono Kwa Watoto

Grace Mshanga - Wisdom&Wellness Counselor (TEWWY)

Simulizi …

by Grace Mshanga (Wisdom&Wellness Counselor – TEWWY).

Kuna baba mmoja tajiri aliyebarikiwa na Mungu katika ndoa yake kupata watoto saba (7), kati yao watano (5) walikuwa wa kike. Binti hawa kwa kweli walikuwa wazuri wa sura na maumbo pia na jinsi walivyozidi kukua ndivyo walivyozidi kubarikiwa kuwa visura na warembo zaidi kila uchao. Kila mvulana aliyewaona alivutiwa nao na kujaribu kutupa ndoano yake ili kuwanasa.

Baba yao watoto hawa, sijui alishikwa na ibilisi gani, alianza kuwatamani watoto wake na kuwarubuni kimapenzi. Alianza na binti mkubwa hadi akamfikia mdogo. Alitekeleza unyama huo kwa nyakati tofauti. Mambo haya yaliendelea kwa muda mrefu na kwa siri sana bila mama yao kujua. Maskini mama wa watu kile alichojua na kufurahia ni kuwa watoto wake walikuwa wanapendwa sana na baba yao, kitu ambacho ni cha kawaida kwa wazazi kuwapenda watoto wao.

Kama ilivyo ada, mabinti wakubwa wanne waliposwa na kulipiwa mahari kama ilivyo desturi ya kabila lao. Waliolewa na kwenda kuishi na waume zao kwenye makao yao mapya.

Alibakia binti mmoja tu pale nyumbani. Cha kushangaza, furaha ya mume tajiri wa yule mama na baba wa wale watoto ilionekana kuanza kupungua kwa kasi sana. Bila kujua undani na unyama wa yule baba, mke wake alifikiri kuwa pengine kukosa raha huko kwa mumewe kunatokana na binti zake kuolewa mfululizo na hivyo kuacha pengo kubwa hapo nyumbani. Kwa hakika jambo usilolijua ni kama usiku wa giza 😱.

Muda ulivyozidi kwenda vijana wakawa wanaitembelea nyumba ya tajiri huyo kwa lengo la kumchumbia yule binti aliyebakia pale nyumbani. Ikawa kila wakitoa kifunga uchumba kwa wazazi wa binti yule baada ya muda uchumba ulivunjika. Hali hii ilijirudia mfululizo huo kwa wavulana kama sita. Hali hii ilimshitua mama na hivyo ikabidi amwulize rafiki yake wa karibu ili aweze kumfumbulia kitendawili hiki na kuweza kujua kulikoni haya yanatokea kwa binti yake. Hali kadhalika, mama wa binti huyu alikuwa tayari amekwishamhoji binti yake bila kupata majibu kwani binti hakutaka kusema lolote.

Rafiki yake ilibidi amuandae vizuri kisaikolojia na baada ya hapo alimtobolea siri moja kubwa ambayo ilikuwa imejificha sana kwa maskini mama huyu, mke wa tajiri.

Baada ya kuteguliwa ama kufumbuliwa kitendawili ama siri hiyo kubwa, mama wa mtoto ambaye posa zake zilikuwa zinarudishwa alichukua hatua sitahiki. Aliongea na binti yake kwa huzuni sana kuhusu mambo aliyoyasikia. Mume wake pia alivyorudi, aliongea naye kwa masikitiko makubwa kuhusu yale aliyokuwa ameyasikia.

Kwa vile hayo mambo yalikuwa ni mazito na magumu kuyavumilia, mama huyo alifungasha virago vyake na kuondoka pale nyumbani. Binti alipoona mambo yamekuwa mazito na mama yake ameamua kuondoka, aliamua kwenda kwa mama yake mdogo ili akamuombe aingilie kati kwa kumuombea msamaha kwa mama yake mzazi kwa suala hilo zito.

Mama yake mdogo hakusita kumwambia kwa ukali na kwa kulaani matendo aliyoyafanya yeye binti na babake. Alimkemea vikali binti huyo kwa matendo yake ya kishetani, matendo yasiyo ya kiungwana hata kidogo. Pamoja na kwamba hakumfukuza pale nyumbani kwake alimkanya asilani asije kuanza kutembea na baba yake mdogo. Alimwambia: Nakuruhusu ukae hapa kwangu ukiwa kama mtoto wa dadangu, lakini ole wako uje utembee na babako mdogo ambaye ni mume wangu. Endapo utakuja kufanya hivyo, kama ulivyomfanyia mamako, adhabu yangu kwako itakuwa ni kubwa kupindukia, cha moto utakiona,” alimaliza. Huyu binti alikubali kukaa hapo kwa masharti hayo na kwa hakika alianza kubadilika na kujutia makosa yake.

Kwa bahati mbaya kwa upande wa binti, mama yale yule, mke wa tajiri hakukubali kurudi asilani na kukajengeka ukuta mkubwa sana kati yake na watoto wake pamoja na mume wake. Aliapa kabisa kutorudi kabisa nyumbani kwa mume wake na pia kutokuwa na ushirikiano nao wote waliomtenda hayo.

Tunajifunza mengi kutoka kisa mkasa huu, yafuatayo ni baadhi tu:

  1. Kusambaratika kwa familia hii kulisababishwa na baba mwenye nyumba kutoheshimu misingi ya maisha. Yatupasa kuheshimu mipaka ya mahusiano ya kimapenzi iliyowekwa tokea uumbaji wa wanadamu na kushushwa kwa mababu na mababu zetu.
  2. Heshima ya binadamu hujengwa na kubomolewa na binadamu mwenyewe. Huyu tajiri alipoteza heshima yake kwa mkewe na kwa jamii nzima. Vitendo vyake vya ‘kula kuku na mayai’ havikubaliki katika jamii yoyote hapa duniani. Matendo ya ‘kutembea’ na binti zake ni ya KINYAMA na lazima tuyakemee kwa nguvu zote. Ni unyanyasaji wa kijinsia, ni ushetani uliokithiri na pia ni uvunjifu wa amani. Aliyotenda tajiri huyu siyo matendo ya kawaida, hususan, kama baba wa familia.
  3. Unyama alilowafanyia binti zake umewaathiri mabinti kisaikolojia. Pamoja na kwamba mabinti hawa wameolewa, unyama huo hautafutika mioyoni mwao. Utabaki kuwa ‘donda ndugu’, hata kama wameolewa halitafutika mioyoni mwao. Wameathiriwa kisaikolojia na baba yao mzazi.

Tabia hii ni mbaya sana, sisi wazazi tunajipatia laana toka kwa Muumba wetu. Badala ya wazazi kuwa walinzi wa haki za watoto wetu tunageuka kuwa vinara

The Healing Hands Project

The Healing Hands project will economically empower people to achieve financial autonomy by building entrepreneurial skills and embedding skills transfer within the community – eliminating poverty as a driver of ill mental health. Funds raised from the jewelry will help sustain the implementation of accessible psychosocial interventions in underserved communities and promote the economic empowerment of the grandmothers who have been trained in and are implementing WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program. Healing Hands provides interpersonal counseling, group talk therapy, and psychoeducation resources delivered through arts, where clients learn to handcraft traditional beaded jewelry as a marketable skill. Follow us @TEWWYWisdom @WisdomWellnessCollection to stay up-to-date.

#MentalHealth #Grandmother #Wisdom #Wellness #mhGAP #HealingHands #Arts #Culture #Tanzania

Published by Wisdom&Wellness

MENTAL HEALTH & WELLNESS Tap Elderly Women’s Wisdom for Youth (TEWWY) is a mental health stakeholder in Tanzania bridging the intergenerational- and mental health treatment-gap by training retired elderly women in adapting WHO’s mental health Gap Action Program (mhGAP). The grandmotherly figures called Wisdom&Wellness Counselors provide accessible mental health services, support and resources in their underserved communities. Wisdom&Wellness Meditation Garden is a wellness center in the Washington DC Metropolitan Area empowering people with simple self-care practices for holistic health and well-being. We teach yoga; organize nature adventures in local parks; facilitate Wisdom&Wellness Talks, a safe-space for people to share wisdom, connect, gain life-skills as they build community; and the Wisdom&Wellness Collection, our handcrafted line of natural skincare & aromatherapy products. 50% of our Wisdom&Wellness Meditation Garden’s revenue supports the mental health initiatives of our nonprofit partner in Tanzania, TEWWY If you would like to be a part of our Wisdom&Wellness Community, let’s connect.

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